WAT SHOULD I DO?MY MOM AND I DO NOT GET ALONG.I LOVE MY MOM BUT I DO NOT RESPECT HER.?

DON'T GET ME WRONG I TRIED VERY HARD TO DO SO AND I TRIED TO IGNORE HER WHEN SHE YELLS AND CALLS ME NAMES.I WAS UALLY AND EMOTIONALLY ABUSED BY HER BOYFRIEND,WHEN I WAS APPROX.4 TO 10 YRS OLD.I DIDN'T TELL ANYONE UNTIL I WAS 11 AND BECAUSE I FELT SAFE THAT HE WAS IN JAIL.MY MOTHER ASKED ME IF I MADE IT UP JUST TO SPLIT THEM UP.I HAD VERY SERIOUS ISSUES PRIOR TO ME COMING OUT.THERE WERE ALOT OF RED FLAGS,AND MY MOM LOOKED AWAY.SINCE THEN I GREW ANGER AND HATRED TOWARS HER FOR NEGLECTING ME AND NOT TELLING ME SHE WAS SORRY AND SHE'LL PROTECT ME AND FOR CONTINUING TO SEE HIM AFTER HE CAME OUT.FOR MOST OF MY LIFE AFTER THAT SHE TOOK MENS SIDE OVER MINE AND CONSIDERED ME A LIAR.I TURNED TO ABUSING DRUGS AND TRYIN TO KILL MYSELF.I FELT TO SMART TO CONTINUE TO LIVE MY LIFE THAT WAY.I AM DRUG FREE AND I LOVE MYSELF TODAY AND I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL SON.I HAVE BEEN IN THERAPY FOR 2 YEARS AND I SUFFER FROM POST TRAUMATIC STRESS DUE TO MY ABUSE.I HAVE CAME A VERY LONG WAY AND I AM A GOOD MOTHER.I AM THE OPPOSITE OF MY MOM.I RECENTLY FOUND OUT THAT I CAN STILL PRESS CHARGES AGAINST MY RAPIST AND I GREW THE COURAGE AND I DID,I GAVE MY MOTHER ANOTHER CHANCE TO REDEEM HERSELF AND SHE TOLD ME TO LEAVE IT ALL ALONE AND THAT I AM ONLY HURTING MYSELF AND NOT HER.I CRIED FOR A LONG TIME TRYIN TO FIGURE OUT Y WAS SHE SO COLD TOWARDS ME.THE DETECTIVES TOLD ME TO LIE TO HER AND TELL HER THAT NO CHARGES WAS GOUNG TO BE BROUGHT AGAINST MY ABUSER,SO I DID.THEN SHE STARTED CRYIN AND TELLIN ME THAT I SHOULD LEAVE IT IN GODS HANDS.I JUST WANT TO MAKE PEOPLE AWARE THAT THERE IS A RAPIST WALKIN AROUND FREE AND WHOM BY THE WAY IS A PASTOR FOR THE SALVATION ARMY,AND ALL SHE CAN THINK ABOUT IS HER OWN SELF.WELL ITS BEEN MONTHS SINCE THE SITUATION AND I TRY SO HARD TO LIKE HER AND RESPECT HER,BUT I JUST CAN'T DO IT.AM I WRONG OR AM I RIGHT?WAT SHOULD I DO?